90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
