i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
