windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
