So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just invented taco cereal.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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