U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
