girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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