my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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