I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
