I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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