Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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