I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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