I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
