Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
