Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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