His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
