i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
