i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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