you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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