that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
