i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
