Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize