Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is the high leading the old right now
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
