Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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