it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
