so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize