Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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