this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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