Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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