I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me they were just razor bumps!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
