There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
