the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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