whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
