One girl and one boy is just not enough.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
