i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
