you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
