You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
