I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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