if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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