Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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