"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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