i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
