I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize