wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
