we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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