Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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