I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
