Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
