why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
