this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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