I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize