my vag is so smooth its legendary
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
