We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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