I look better un-naked...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
