You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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