It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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