no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there was a trapeze. enough said
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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