apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
