I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
