...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
