and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
