my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
